


if i told her it's not too late

by kimaracretak



Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Dominion War, Epistolary, Established Relationship, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-22
Updated: 2016-11-22
Packaged: 2018-09-01 10:11:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 897
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8620477
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kimaracretak/pseuds/kimaracretak
Summary: (there it is carrying the spoken word / throughout lifelines of depths / imperceptible implementation of life / the day is breaking):LEETA / DOCUMENTS / LETTERS / EIGHT / DRAFTS / 09.txtWe're dying. Didn't you know we'd die? Your Federation watched this happen once before. I told you it wasn't new and you didn't fuckingLEETA / DOCUMENTS / LETTERS / EIGHT / SENT / 09.txtI swear to the Prophets J if you're dead too I will stand at the gates of the Temple myself and refuse to let you pass.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [cosmic_llin](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cosmic_llin/gifts).



> title from stream of passion, 'don't let go', summary quote from octavia sperati, 'lifelines of depths'
> 
> this is ... so much more angsty than i strictly intended it to be when i started it a month ago

It wasn't an arrangement.

Later, that would always be what Leeta found most unbelievable about the entire situation with Jadzia: it wasn't an arrangement, there were no expectations. Not even that she'd smile, if she didn't want to.

It's just that sometimes when she woke up, Jadzia'd left a note saying that the wormhole was going to look particularly beautiful that night, and would Leeta like to join her, and sometimes when her shift was over, she'd bring Jadzia's favourite drink over to her, cheerfully ignoring Quark's muttering about ungrateful employees.

But it fit around her life easier than breathing, unconstant enough to be a comfort and steady enough that as the war descends around them she notices, and she _aches_.

 

 

 

**

 

 

 

The station is hot under its renewed occupation, the air thin and dusty and far too reminiscent of Bajor's blasted skies from hardly a decade ago. Leeta feels raw, spliced open and hung out as a welcome to the Cardassian command. As if they deserved a home to come back to, and not a disruptor to the face.

FUCK CARDIES, reads the new banner outside Garak's shop. Quark has a betting pool up wondering if it's a sign of the new resistance or if Garak himself left it as a welcome to Dukat within the hour. Leeta almost ignores it, but thinks of Jadzia and puts five slips of latinum on Garak.

Quark gives the latinum a long, long look, before pocketing it and handing her a bottle of springwine from under the bar. She stares in disbelief.

"Dukat likes it," he says by way of explanation. "And he won't pay even that."

Leeta sighs. "I miss her too, you know."

"I haven't the faintest idea what you're talking about," he sniffs as he turns away. But then he adds, "She'll be back, you know. And more beautiful than ever."

Leeta gives his back a thin-lipped smile, and doesn't even scold him.

 

 

LEETA / DOCUMENTS / LETTERS / EIGHT / DRAFTS / 02.txt

_At least we're not surprised this time. At least they know we hate them. Petty resistance. Jokes. Things you'd be good at._

 

 

LEETA / DOCUMENTS / LETTERS / EIGHT / SENT / 02.txt

_Get your ass back here soon. Quark's practically nice now that you're gone._

 

 

 

**

 

 

 

"I don't like this, old man." Ben drums his fingers against his chair's armrest. On the viewscreen, the map of the Federation's main communications beacons has far, far too much red.

"They're cutting you off from the station," Garak says unnecessarily. "Only Cardassian frequencies can get through. We can modify the _Defiant_ 's communications array, or try to capture one of the beacons ..."

Sealing off the station ... it reminds Jadzia of something Leeta once said. "Maybe it's not too bad," she says, and her voice sounds unnaturally loud in the bridge. "If they're this concerned, maybe something's happening on the station."

He's smiling when she turns around with hopeful eyes, but it's a sad one, and Jadzia knows he wishes he was leading the resistance there.

She wishes she were back on DS9 too.

 

 

\-- MESSAGES > 1MB SUBJECT TO HALT FOR PRIORITY ORDERS UNLESS MARKED --

 

_We're coming back. It's not a secret, not ever. Hold on._

 

\-- BEACON RED ALPHA SIX OFFLINE. TRANSMISSION FAILED. --

 

 

\-- MESSAGES > 1MB SUBJECT TO HALT FOR PRIORITY ORDERS UNLESS MARKED --

 

_Leeta. You'll survive again, I promise._

 

\-- SECURE CHANNEL UNAVAILABLE. SEND ANYWAY? Y/N --

...

\-- Y/N --

...

\-- SYSERR: TIMEOUT --

 

 

 

**

 

 

 

Leeta doesn't cry until Vedek Yassin's suicide. She goes back to Jadzia's quarters, barren now and far too hot, and cries until her nose is clogged so thoroughly she can't smell even the memory of the lingering spices of Trill's oceans that always used to hang in the air here.

 

 

LEETA / DOCUMENTS / LETTERS / EIGHT / DRAFTS / 09.txt

_We're dying. Didn't you know we'd die? Your Federation watched this happen once before. I told you it wasn't new and you didn't fucking_

 

 

LEETA / DOCUMENTS / LETTERS / EIGHT / SENT / 09.txt

_I swear to the Prophets J if you're dead too I will stand at the gates of the Temple myself and refuse to let you pass._

 

 

 

**

 

 

 

There's a resistance now. There's a resistance and there's a communications channel and fewer deaths than Jadzia had expected she would have to mark. It helps, she thinks, that Nerys and Leeta are probably in the middle of everything, and her heart twists with pride.

 

 

\-- PRIORITY CHANNEL ONLY --

\-- RECEIVING LOCATION HAS MULTIPLE COMMS. SPECIFY. --

...

\-- lguild01 --

 

_Can whoever receives and decodes this please replicate several porcupines (patterns attached) to leave in Dukat's chair?_

_(Yes, even if you are a Cardassian.)_

_(No, Admiral, this is absolutely a priority.)_

 

\-- COMMUNICATIONS TO STATION DEEP SPACE NINE SUBJECT TO EXTRA SCREENING BEFORE APPROVAL. SEND ANYWAY? Y/N --

...

\-- Y/N --

...

\-- Y --

 

 

 

**

 

 

 

LEETA / DOCUMENTS / LETTERS / EIGHT / DRAFTS / 14.txt

_I love you. I don't want you to think this is the end, but I do. I love you._

 

 

LEETA / DOCUMENTS / LETTERS / EIGHT / SENT / 14.txt

_I got arrested. Not because of the porcupines, Dukat got that message first, but it was a good idea. I'm fine but_

 

 

 

**

 

 

 

\-- PRIORITY CHANNEL ONLY --

\-- RECEIVING LOCATION HAS MULTIPLE COMMS. SPECIFY. --

...

\-- lguild01 --

 

\-- ENCRYPTION LEVEL: CAR1 --

_Coming home soon._

 

\-- ENCRYPTION LEVEL: TRL2 --

_I'm taking you to the sea when this is over._

 

\-- RECEIVING LOCATION ACTIVE COMBAT ZONE. TRANSMISSION UNCERTAIN. --

 

 

 

**

 

 

 

Even during the worst days of the Occupation, during the most festive of victory celebrations, Leeta has never seen so much of the sky on fire.


End file.
